Archive - My Family & Other Animals

Sympathy for the Devil

10 May 2010 by admin, No Comments

This was originally written as a Mother’s Day special for the Times of India, May 9th 2010. Here is the original story, which I honestly prefer but if you are a die- hard TOI reader, you can find it online here.

Reenita and Ilya

Offering sympathy for dealing with my near-thirteen-year-old is akin to offering sympathy for the devil.

It’s a phase, everybody says, she’ll get through her teenage years.

Yes, but the question I ask on daily basis is will I get through it? On some level, Ilya has been going through “a phase” all her life! [...]

Kitkat chocolates destroy the Orangutan habitat

18 March 2010 by admin, No Comments
I am as guilty as anyone of finding pleasure through chocolate on occasion. In fact, there are certain “feel good” snacks that I associate with my childhood, Kitkat being one of them.
However recent reports of  Nestle’s role in eradicating the Indonesian rainforests, home to the Orangutan, puts perspective on my desire to snack on Kitkat’s “chocky-bickies.”

A Sumatran Orangutan (Src: Sumtran Orangutan Society)

According to this morning’s Sun, Nestle is guilty of purchasing palm oil used in the treat, from a company which allegedly clears Indonesian rainforest lands to develop palm oil plantations instead. Greenpeace says that this has led to the death of more than 1,500 orangutans in a year. [...]

Pushpalata

26 February 2010 by reenita, 1 Comment
Pushpalata Vij (1922-2010)

Pushpalata Vij (1922-2010)

The Indic culture believes that each of us is named for a reason. Names are not a reflection of your parent’s whim but a symbolic reference of your life purpose. Rarely though in our frenzied existence, do we stop to think about the reason behind why we were named.

Last week, when my grandmother passed, I reflected on her name, Pushpalata.

Pushpa translates from Sanskrit as flower, and lata, a creeping vine. The former is easier to make sense of -  through the seasons of life, my grandmother’s garden embodied the florescence of beauty, purity and simplicity. More subtle however is the creeping vine; it grows out along the ground, rooting every so often to enhance the striking presence of other plants with its own understated yet beautiful border. This  was my grandmother, Pushpalata Vij. [...]

How Do You Deal With A Child’s Questions About Terrorism?

1 December 2008 by admin, No Comments

This year I was determined to have a meaningful Thanksgiving. After all of the shocks we have faced this year with the economy, Wall street, mounting financial issues…not to mention a slew of family health and business problems, it was time to finally sit down and celebrate the change that Obama has promised.

And then…in the very wake of the Thanksgiving hour came an SMS message from a friend alerting us about the terror attacks in Mumbai: “Right this very minute, bombs are going off in every corner of our city. Please call home and ensure that your loved ones are safe.”

All of Wednesday, I was glued to the TV and checked lists of the deceased on the hour every hour…luckily no one had been harmed. But on Thursday, the day that we sat down to by thankful for what we have…I received word that a good friend and her husband had been shot at a restaurant in Mumbai’s Oberoi hotel orphaning three young children. It was the restaurant that our family frequents for Sunday brunch, the restaurant in which we celebrated my daughter’s birthday just three months ago.

My daughter who overheard everything could not help but ask how it is possible that a child’s parents can go out for dinner as they do every week perhaps, yet one day never come back. That night she wanted to sleep in our bed, in between her father and her mother petrified that somehow that they too might be taken away from her for some unjust reason.

Over the course of the holiday, we continued to receive news of friends who had dodged bullets as they fled to safety and the less fortunate ones who did not make it. Mumbai is a city where everyone knows everyone. For all the victims that we knew directly, we were separated by barely one degree from those that we did not. My children recognized many of the victims and survivors.

As we watched NDTV my son overheard a reporter speak of the orphaned child of a Rabbi and his wife who was saved by his nanny. It was the child’s second birthday the day after. My son who like any child anticipates his next birthday every day of the year, asked me, “Why did God kill his parents on his birthday?

What kind of answer can a parent create or concoct for questions like these? How to deal with a child’s natural curiosity, fear and intense emotion?

This morning I was told a story about a family of four killed in one of the hotels: The terrorists first killed the father and watched the mother go beserk. They then killed the mother as the two teenage kids stood by. They set fire to a table cloth ordering the kids to place it over their parents…”you need to cremate them,” said one of the terrorists. When the tablecloth somehow brushed the arm of one terrorist, he shot one of the kids. Then…having let the other kid linger over his dead parents and sibling for some time, the terrorist finally shot him too.

Can we seek solace in knowing that the entire family was killed and so none will be left to grieve? What justice is there in this world?

Whether terrorism is economically driven or whether it occurs due to religious strife, we can no longer rely on others to protect us. What can we do as individuals to make the world we live in a safer place for our children?