Reenita's Wisdom

After being a classified cynic during all my years of singledom, I admit that I am now a staunch follower of customs that have arisen from the villages in Punjab. Like Karva Chauth. I think that much of the credit must go to my mother who sat me down right prior to my first Karva Chauth holiday as a married woman….oh so many years ago….and told me in no uncertain terms that she had had enough of my rebellious ways and that as a married lady in the community, I had better toe the line. I am still amazed by the impact of Mom’s threats especially when they are laced with words like community!

Karva Chauth is a Northern Indian festival during which married women fast for the well-being of the husband. Observed during the month of Kartik on the fourth day of Krishna Paksha (the waning moon) the festival was originally based on the idea of camaraderie between married women in the community during a time when most of Northern Indian society lived in villages. It is important to remember this: increasingly new cynics (like my old self) will tend to pass it off as an example of traditions that cater to a male dominated society.

Living in San Francisco, I find that I must observe the fast on what is typically a working day. It can be challenging to remain hungry yet make sure that you are not grumpy and irritable when it comes to dealing with your colleagues in the office. Ahh…the trials we must face to become better human beings!

But many women, especially those who live outside of India, continue to be at a loss for what exactly to do on Karva Chauth. If you need some tips or just plain moral support on how to get through the day, I thought I would share some words of wisdom on the subject.

Karva Chauth For Dummies

Eat Before Dawn

• While people increasingly skip this step, I would advise against this; your body is likely to go into ’starvation mode.’ Ayurvedically speaking, this is a no-no.
• Aim for an early morning snack that will hydrate your system. Oranges are ideal.

No Food After Sunrise

• Sleep in if you can; if not, don’t worry too much about it.
• Think good thoughts; cliched as it might sound, you will be amazed at the difference you can make with positive energy.

Before Sunset

• Get together with other women who are fasting, an hour or two before sunset for puja (prayer ritual) and storytelling. This is probably the most enjoyable aspect of the festival and rings back to its tradition of camaraderie among women.
• IF you do not have a group of women to get together with, do a simple puja on your own and read the Karva Chauth story.

Breaking The Fast

• Once the moon rises, go to a open area like a terrace or a garden to look at it through a sieve before looking at your husband.
• If you have kids, it can be fun to involve the whole family by having Dad and kids search for the moon too.
• Break the fast by having your husband give you a glass of water to drink.
• Follow with a scrumptious dinner but resist the temptation to over-indulge. Your metabolism has been slowed down during the course of the day, your digestive system cannot deal with too much food.

Best wishes to those of you who are celebrating the holiday this year. And please do send me your personal Karva Chauth wisdom. The more that goes around, the more we can ring back to the symbolism of this Northern Indian tradition.

Image Credit: www.karwachauth.com

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Bringing kids to an understanding of prayer and spirituality has got to be one of the more difficult aspects of parenting. As a Hindu living outside of India, I find myself particularly challenged in this area.

Learning Religion Through Osmosis

Growing up in Bombay, religion was ‘learned’ through osmosis. The mere fact that it happened around me on a day to day basis led me to accept what others later defined as ‘religious abnormalities,’ such as the family pundit (the priest)’s quick response to personal calls on his cell phone in the midst of a puja ceremony. As far as I was concerned, religion was always in plentiful supply, with more festivals and holidays than one could ever keep track of. So I figured it was okay to cut the pundit some slack. He had a pretty busy job, after all. Besides, he and I had a tacit agreement — as long as I showed up from time to time, I had full flexibility to take as much (or as little) as I wanted to out of whatever was being offered up that month.

Raising Hindu Kids in the West

Raising Hindu kids in the West is a whole different ballgame. I find myself preparing spiritual lesson-plans for my kids in much the same manner that a professor might prepare to teach a university level course. The end result of this is that the children analyze God down to a tee, asking questions that makes me as parent really grapple for the right (read politically correct) answers:
“Mummy, if Parshuram wields an axe, Krishna a discus, and they are both considered to be incarnations of Lord Vishnu, then why do people say that God is not violent? How come it’s okay for Draupadi to have five husbands and King Dashratha to have three wives? If Lord Ganesha can have a mouse with him everywhere he goes, then why do we get pest control every few months?”

The Gods are our Super Heroes

Thanks to a recent stream of animated movies that bring to light practically every aspect of Hindu mythology my kids have become obsessed with religion. My son Arya, especially has become such an ardent follower of the pantheon of Hindu Gods (in his eyes they are superheroes just like Batman and the Power Rangers), so much so that his daily habits are increasingly influenced by the values that God stands for. Arya will seize a bow and arrow at every given opportunity, because he wants to be prepared to destroy any evil that might come his way. That too with a single bow, like Rama the epic hero of the Ramayana. And at dinnertime, he will re-arrange everyone’s forks to face down into the plate. According to him it’s rude to point the stabbing ends of your fork to God!

I was particularly struck by a conversation that I overheard him having with a friend during a recent play date. Given that we were about to leave for dinner in a nearby restaurant, I asked the boys to go to the toilet. “Neale!’ came Arya’s earnest voice from the bathroom. “I am trying so hard but absolutely nothing is coming out.”
“Don’t worry Arya,” answered Neale reassuringly. “Just focus your mind and pray to Lord Ganesha. He will remove all obstacles that come in the way of your doing potty!” (For those of you who do not know this already Lord Ganesha is considered to be the remover of obstacles).

It turns out that I was not the only eavesdropping on the conversation. My inquisitive daughter rolled her eyes in her usual know-it-all way, expounding Ayurvedic wisdom that always makes me swell with pride yet shudder at the thought of a self created Mini Me. “The fact that he is constipated, means that his tummy is filled with dry wind,” she retorted. “Ganesha can’t fix that stuff, he should focus on Hanuman instead. He’s the one Super Hero who can after all fly faster than the wind, so if anyone can beat wind issues, Hanuman can!”